Obstacles in the Way of Starting Work
Unfortunately, people sometimes delay seeking psychologists’ expertise
because of stigma placed upon those who are in therapy by society and
sometimes also by clients’ themselves. Psychologists and other therapists
have also contributed to the hesitancy of others to seek our services. While
clients sometimes seek help for problems that emanate from particular causes
that call for specific interventions, many other situations are less clearly
understood. In the past, many therapists conducted themselves with their
clients in a fashion that suggested they knew the ‘ultimate truths’ behind the
reasons for their clients’ problems and when their clients did not accept their
pronouncements they were treated as though they were in denial or resisting
“the truth” (an experience that no doubt created many difficult moments and new
sources of distress). Some practitioners may continue to work this way still.
My work, and that of many of my contemporaries, is strengthened by our
understanding that there is much that is unknowable and uncertain and that
many experiences have multiple meanings that are influenced by the particular,
and often changing, perspectives of ourselves and others. Therapists today are
more likely to present their ideas in ways that provide more room and comfort
for clients to consider and incorporate into their understanding what is offered
by the therapist (though not all therapists work in this fashion).
Another effect of the narrower views utilized in the past by many therapists
meant that cultural influences were frequently largely ignored and, when brought
up by clients, often interpreted as further resistance. Cultural forces play a large
role in determining many of our thoughts and feelings. It can be empowering
and liberating to develop an increased awareness of how our families and
society at large influence the development of our thoughts, feelings and
actions.
The monetary cost of therapy or marriage counseling is also often offered as a
reason why people delay or never begin working with a therapist. Many will
endure prolonged marital, parenting and other family problems, separate from
their family and end their marriage in divorce. Others endure substantial work
and school related problems and “just spin their wheels” struggling with
procrastination and mild depression for years without seriously considering
utilizing the expertise of an attentive therapist who may otherwise have been
able to provide valuable perspective and insight that is often difficult for
individuals to attain themselves or through the help of friends. Some will have
spent considerable amounts of money on their education, expensive cars,
luxurious homes, legal fees, child support and alimony. After therapy begins,
many clients quickly sense that the time they have left to live their life is worth
much more than they ever realized and their valuation of their other purchases
changes. In my opinion, therapy with a skilled therapist is a bargain.
Unfortunately, the value of quality therapy is often difficult for many to appreciate
until they are well into their work with their therapist (of course for some,
rewarding changes will remain indefinitely elusive).
How Long Does it Take and How Much Will it Cost?
Some clients consult with me and have specific questions or problems that I
am able to help them with in a very brief period of time. In some instances, I
help clients find other professional resources to help them with their situation.
When I agree to begin working with clients, I usually recommend meeting one to
three times a week and the number of sessions sometimes increases or
decreases as the work progresses. Some clients focus on a particular goal
and experience an acceptable degree of satisfaction in just a few visits. Other
clients seek broader changes. As is the case in many instances, we tend to get
out of our efforts what we put into them. Clients who work more frequently over
longer periods of time often obtain quicker, broader and more enduring
changes. The motivation of clients also plays an important role in determining
the outcome of therapy. For some, the work progresses rapidly from the
beginning, for others it may proceed more slowly at the outset. Sometimes a
person who begins more slowly later builds and maintains steam. As different
issues are explored, the pace of the work can change.
Deciding when to end work in therapy can be a difficult decision for many
clients. Even those who have made many accomplishments and reached
numerous goals can sometimes find it difficult to decide when to end work with
their therapist. Upon ending, clients’ ideally possess new skills and openness
to experience that has increased to a point where they become quite effective at
addressing new issues and situations as they occur, borrowing upon
understandings developed while contemplating similar events while they were
in therapy (or from other sources too, of course). Sometimes clients take a
break from therapy and return later. There are many legitimate reasons a client
may choose to end their work with a therapist and it is important for clients to
discuss their thoughts and feelings regarding ending well in advance of their
final visit. If a client chooses to discontinue therapy and later wishes to return, I
make every effort I can to accommodate them. I discuss my fees and try to
establish a plan that can work well for both parties during each client’s first visit.
I enjoy working with individuals, couples and families. Evening appointments
are sometimes available.
Unfortunately, people sometimes delay seeking psychologists’ expertise
because of stigma placed upon those who are in therapy by society and
sometimes also by clients’ themselves. Psychologists and other therapists
have also contributed to the hesitancy of others to seek our services. While
clients sometimes seek help for problems that emanate from particular causes
that call for specific interventions, many other situations are less clearly
understood. In the past, many therapists conducted themselves with their
clients in a fashion that suggested they knew the ‘ultimate truths’ behind the
reasons for their clients’ problems and when their clients did not accept their
pronouncements they were treated as though they were in denial or resisting
“the truth” (an experience that no doubt created many difficult moments and new
sources of distress). Some practitioners may continue to work this way still.
My work, and that of many of my contemporaries, is strengthened by our
understanding that there is much that is unknowable and uncertain and that
many experiences have multiple meanings that are influenced by the particular,
and often changing, perspectives of ourselves and others. Therapists today are
more likely to present their ideas in ways that provide more room and comfort
for clients to consider and incorporate into their understanding what is offered
by the therapist (though not all therapists work in this fashion).
Another effect of the narrower views utilized in the past by many therapists
meant that cultural influences were frequently largely ignored and, when brought
up by clients, often interpreted as further resistance. Cultural forces play a large
role in determining many of our thoughts and feelings. It can be empowering
and liberating to develop an increased awareness of how our families and
society at large influence the development of our thoughts, feelings and
actions.
The monetary cost of therapy or marriage counseling is also often offered as a
reason why people delay or never begin working with a therapist. Many will
endure prolonged marital, parenting and other family problems, separate from
their family and end their marriage in divorce. Others endure substantial work
and school related problems and “just spin their wheels” struggling with
procrastination and mild depression for years without seriously considering
utilizing the expertise of an attentive therapist who may otherwise have been
able to provide valuable perspective and insight that is often difficult for
individuals to attain themselves or through the help of friends. Some will have
spent considerable amounts of money on their education, expensive cars,
luxurious homes, legal fees, child support and alimony. After therapy begins,
many clients quickly sense that the time they have left to live their life is worth
much more than they ever realized and their valuation of their other purchases
changes. In my opinion, therapy with a skilled therapist is a bargain.
Unfortunately, the value of quality therapy is often difficult for many to appreciate
until they are well into their work with their therapist (of course for some,
rewarding changes will remain indefinitely elusive).
How Long Does it Take and How Much Will it Cost?
Some clients consult with me and have specific questions or problems that I
am able to help them with in a very brief period of time. In some instances, I
help clients find other professional resources to help them with their situation.
When I agree to begin working with clients, I usually recommend meeting one to
three times a week and the number of sessions sometimes increases or
decreases as the work progresses. Some clients focus on a particular goal
and experience an acceptable degree of satisfaction in just a few visits. Other
clients seek broader changes. As is the case in many instances, we tend to get
out of our efforts what we put into them. Clients who work more frequently over
longer periods of time often obtain quicker, broader and more enduring
changes. The motivation of clients also plays an important role in determining
the outcome of therapy. For some, the work progresses rapidly from the
beginning, for others it may proceed more slowly at the outset. Sometimes a
person who begins more slowly later builds and maintains steam. As different
issues are explored, the pace of the work can change.
Deciding when to end work in therapy can be a difficult decision for many
clients. Even those who have made many accomplishments and reached
numerous goals can sometimes find it difficult to decide when to end work with
their therapist. Upon ending, clients’ ideally possess new skills and openness
to experience that has increased to a point where they become quite effective at
addressing new issues and situations as they occur, borrowing upon
understandings developed while contemplating similar events while they were
in therapy (or from other sources too, of course). Sometimes clients take a
break from therapy and return later. There are many legitimate reasons a client
may choose to end their work with a therapist and it is important for clients to
discuss their thoughts and feelings regarding ending well in advance of their
final visit. If a client chooses to discontinue therapy and later wishes to return, I
make every effort I can to accommodate them. I discuss my fees and try to
establish a plan that can work well for both parties during each client’s first visit.
I enjoy working with individuals, couples and families. Evening appointments
are sometimes available.
Peter J. Young, Psy.D. 550 Hamilton Avenue, Suite 228
Clinical Psychologist Palo Alto, California 94301
License PSY 19563 (650) 248-9958
Clinical Psychologist Palo Alto, California 94301
License PSY 19563 (650) 248-9958
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Is Therapy or Marriage Counseling Right
for You? Some Food for Thought
for You? Some Food for Thought